Fears…

We all have them, some are more fearful than others - some say and believe they fear nothing, but they do whether they like to admit it or not. Fears are a natural survival mechanism and without fears there would be chaos. Imagine not being afraid of anything - you’d be out of control guaranteed. You wouldn’t have any inhibitions and therefore everything would be “open season”. Some fears are not natural though and are learned sometime during your life..and others you may want to overcome for various reasons. So how do you do this? Progressive desensitization is the answer.

Maybe your scared of bugs or spiders, maybe your scared of small spaces or maybe your scared of public speeches. No matter your fear it can be conquered if you have the patience and are willing to face it. The key is to approach your fear as you would a long term goal - in baby steps. If you’re scared of spiders and your thrown into a pit of tarantulas, chances are you wont beat your fear you’ll only make it worse - or even die.

Progressive desensitization is exactly what it sounds like. You start out with the least amount of exposure to your fear as possible and with. Each step you take towards conquering your fear must be first be comfortable for you before you move on to the next step. Keeping with the spider example, you might first look at one from a safe distance and force yourself to just observe instead of jumping away in fear. You would do this - observing the spider - long enough so that your comfortable looking at them and no longer jump away. Next you might get closer, maybe even touch it - at least get “too close for comfort” and once again do this until your comfortable with the closer distance. After that maybe you’d hold a spider in your hand and let it crawl around. If your goal is to simply hold a spider without being repulsed by fear then guess what - you’ve done it.

Another example which also relates to my life is rock climbing. In rock climbing you are faced with the fear of falling - moreover the fear of not knowing what each fall will feel like as everyone is different. The mind and body has a strong natural habit to be afraid of falling and anxiety can easily overcome you if you’re not exposed to it. However climbing into a position where there’s potential for a long dangerous fall - say a 50 foot fall on an off-vertical slab isn’t the way to overcome your fear. First you might start out by falling short distances, a couple inches even if you’re really uncomfortable with it. You then move on to progressively longer (but still safe) falls until you’re comfortable with them. Not only will you become more comfortable with the potential of falling, you’ll also be able to more accurately judge what is and what isn’t a safe fall because you have previous experiences to relate too.

Any fear - no matter how big or small can be overcome. Some you may have no need to overcome - such as a fear of grizzly bears and that’s fine too. Just remember, plan your approach to overcome your fear and work yourself up to more and more intense situations. Soon enough you’ll be living your life without unnecessary fears and having more fun in the process. Good luck!

Ryan S. Bombard